A Message of Hope and of Responsibility

A while back, a guy wrote an article on salon.com about his failed attempts at self publishing. There was a lot of criticism about the piece because it seemed to cast a negative light on self pubbers and the guy didn’t seem to have tried very hard to make his book a success. Hugh Howey recently wrote a counterpoint article. (Links to both at the bottom of this post.)

If you haven’t read these articles, you should. The blogosphere is aflame with posts about the dueling viewpoints — and rightfully so. They express two points of view that I read a lot in my journeys through forums and blogs:

POV 1 – Over 3 million books will be published this year. If yours sells more than a handful, thank the stars for your luck at finding a market.

POV 2 – If your work is good enough and plentiful enough and you market it right, you will find an audience.

Note that I have no idea where I got that number about the quantity of books to be published. I can’t remember and, frankly, have no idea if it’s accurate. I do know that 93.499152168291063% of all statistics are made up.

The voices espousing POV 1 are much more plentiful than those for the counterpoint, and, I must admit, they sometimes give me pause. There are a lot of authors out there who have spent hundreds/thousands of dollars to publish a book and have sold about 50 copies.

Let’s be honest. I’ve read a lot of traditionally published stuff over the years. The majority of it is simply meh. Over the last year, I’ve read a lot of indie and small pub stuff. Overall, I’d say the quality is less than that of the traditional material.

No one is saying, “If you put something out there, no matter how crappy it is, you’ll sell mega copies.” What POV 2 says is, “If you work on your craft and produce stories that are compelling to your audience and you work hard and smart to find that audience, you will succeed.”

What Hugh says in his article, and what Michael Sullivan preaches all the time, is that there are a lot of people out there earning their living from self publishing. Though you wouldn’t recognize them if you hit them with a truck, they do exist, and they’re plentiful.

This view gives me hope.

This view scares me.

If success absolutely can be achieved, the only person I have to blame if I fail is me.

If POV 2 is correct, there are only 5 reasons for failure:

• I didn’t work hard enough at my craft.
• I didn’t work hard enough producing a sufficient quantity of products.
• I didn’t work smart enough in producing something my audience wants.
• I didn’t work hard enough at reaching my audience.
• I didn’t work smart enough in determining how to reach my audience.

I have hope; I can succeed. But, if I don’t, it’s all my responsibility.

Links:

I’m a Self-Publishing Failure by John Winters

Self-Publishing is the future — and great for writers by Hugh Howey

When Is a Book Ready to be Self Published?

I need your help. I’m confused. Bemused. Befuddled.

I. Just. Don’t. Under. Stand.

(Note to Mark: Not a typo; I separated the single word, “understand,” for effect.)

First, some background info:

I’ve done a lot of work in preparation for self publishing Power of the Mages. I’ve:

• Set a goal of what I want the book to accomplish – Not as much in terms of what the book will bring me as far as money goes but what I want the writing to achieve. I want to immerse my reader and evoke an emotional response.
• Studied writing – I think I know, from a theoretical standpoint at least, what it takes to achieve my goal.
• Taken steps to make sure I’m achieving my goal – I’ve sought feedback from sources that I trust.

Most of all, I continually re-evaluate if the book is ready.

I have an aggressive timeline ahead of me. I’m going to read the 3rd draft in early May, jot down notes, collect beta reader comments, and incorporate all relevant suggestions. By May 8, I want my 4th draft to be in the hands of my editor.

Once I get his analysis, my schedule stays tight — six weeks to get to the finished stage in order to release on August 1.

If I can’t meet that goal or the editor tells me the book needs a lot more work, I’ll push my deadline.

I feel two competing interests warring inside me:

1. The book will never be perfect. I could spend the rest of my life working on it, and, on my deathbed, I’d find something that could be tweaked. At some point, I just have to send it out there and accept that my next book will be better because my skill will be better.
2. If the book isn’t good enough, it does nothing for me. My marketing plan relies on the book compelling readers to recommend it to others. If it’s not at that level, publishing it is pointless.

There are tough decisions to make in my future, and thoughts of that process have me thinking a lot about when and why a book should be self published.

Here’s what I do understand:

Situation 1

An author studies the craft, creates an incredible book, and self publishes it. This situation is the one I want for me. I also want to find these books so that I can recommend them to others.

Situation 2

The author is delusional. Let’s face it, there are many people out there who just don’t get it. They think their book has merit simply because they put in the hard work of writing it. You can usually tell in the first couple of paragraphs that they don’t understand how to construct a simple declarative sentence, much less convey a story. Telling them what they did wrong is pointless; they lack too much basic understanding. While I don’t desire to encounter these books, I, at least, understand what drives the publishing of them. My response is to roll my eyes and move on.

Situation 3

Though the technique and writing may be spotty and editing close to non-existent, there’s something about the story that appeals to the audience. A reader of romance may not care much about story and style as long as the emotional punch is delivered. An action fan might not care about the plot plausibility as long as their pulse is kept pounding. A writer of this type of work has discovered that it’s more profitable to produce the next book than it is to tweak the first one to death. I respect and understand that decision.

Here’s what completely baffles me:

I’m reading a book right now that fits into a fourth situation, and I just don’t understand the concept. If it were an isolated case, I’d simply shrug my shoulders. However, I’ve encountered it many times.

Situation 4

An author is talented enough to create compelling story elements but the work — both from a storytelling and technique standpoint — is unpolished.

The book doesn’t fit Situation 1. It’s not good enough that I can recommend it to others. It feels like a decent second draft.

The book doesn’t fit Situation 2. The author has some skill. He’s not so delusional that he obviously has no idea what makes a book good.

The book doesn’t fit Situation 3. There’s no strong core to the book that’s going to produce an audience.

Simply put, it feels like the author put in a lot of work; got tired before getting to the finish line; said, “Screw it, good enough;” and hit “Publish.”

Don’t let that be you. If you’re that close, please take it the rest of the way. I know it’s a hard road, but making it to the end will be so much more rewarding than collapsing onto the curb.

Push on, writer. Push on.

Reviews at Any Cost?

Most authors who are either self published or are considering that route understand how important reviews are. The right mention in the right place can drive a lot of people to your book. Once a potential customer finds your book page, the quantity and quality of reviews influence the purchasing decision.

It’s also evident that obtaining reviews is not easy. Book blogs are inundated with requests. A low percentage of people who buy a book, or acquire it through giveaways, leave reviews.

Given the above, that reviews are both important and difficult to obtain, it’s no wonder that some authors pursue practices that other authors feel are morally and/or ethically unacceptable.

Let’s start with providing book bloggers, and other legitimate reviewers, with free copies of the book. I doubt that many of us would question this practice, but there is the point of view that you gave something of value to someone in return for a review. In reality, the “value” of the “gift” is in question. Would the reviewer have ever purchased your book anyway? And, what’s the alternative? Saying to the reviewer, “Hey, can you do me the enormous favor of trying to bring attention to my book and, oh, while you’re at it, pay for the privilege of doing so?”

At the other end of the spectrum lies the concept of fake reviews — creating fake accounts to post glowing reviews of your own book. I think most of us would consider this to be abhorrent behavior.

Where, then, is the line?

Let’s consider a generic review rather than one for Amazon or another particular site so as to avoid the issue of adherence to specific guidelines. At the core, which of the following do you agree or disagree with and why?

Review Trading – You ask an author to review your book, and, in return, you do the same for his. While both of you are planning “honest” reviews, there still exists some degree of social pressure not to trash your acquaintance.

Paying for Reviews –
• “Legitimate” sites like Kirkus that charge money for an honest review from someone who actually reads your book.
• Site where, for a small fee, you can get a great number of reviews from people who probably, at best, only skim your book. While there’s no requirement that the reviews be 5-stars, it’s understood the most of them will be.

Asking Family and Friends – Let’s be honest. Great Aunt Mable probably isn’t going to do anything other than say, “This book was great!!! 5 Stars!!!” Is that really an “honest” review? On the other hand, she bought the book. Why shouldn’t she voice her opinion?

I don’t have all the answers here, though I have opinions. I’d like to hear what you have to say on the matter, and I’ll revisit the subject with my thoughts in a future post.

Why I Plan to Ignore My Marketing Advice

At the moment, I think that my marketing activities are proportional. I spend a bit of time here and there doing research, and I blog for about 3 hours a week. Were I to keep up that rate, I’d say it would be a good balance of producing new work to selling activities.

Instead, I plan to spend an entire month doing nothing but marketing — almost no writing at all.

• April – Work on Daniel Darcy 1: The Exardo Invasion
• Early May – Collect 3rd draft beta reader comments for Power of the Mages and send it to the editor
• June – Finalize Power of the Mages and create review copy (including, ugh, maps)
• July – Besides last minute touches, do marketing
• August – Release Power of the Mages, finish up rough draft of Daniel Darcy 1, and work on compiling blog posts into a nonfiction book

Obviously, this approach does not embrace the balance that I called for in previous posts. Here’s why I made that decision:

1. I fear losing motivation – The vast majority of self published authors sell a few copies to their friends and family, and that’s about it. If I don’t do better than that, I think I’ll get seriously discouraged.

2. The need to swing for the fences is a personal trait – While it’s not likely that a first novel by a self published author is going to be a runaway hit, the possibility exists. I need to give the book that chance of success.

3. It fits my long term plan – Between August 1 of this year and August 1 of 2014, I want to have 5 works on Amazon:

a. Power of the Mages (August 1, 2013)
b. 12 Simple Techniques for Improving Your Fiction Writing: Avoiding the Most Common Mistakes of New Authors (late 2013)
c. Daniel Darcy 1: The Exardo Invasion (Spring 2014)
d. The Slender Man Massacre (Summer 2014)
e. Novelette/novella that comprises the 2nd part of my Dark Power series (Fall 2014)

4. The most effective marketing efforts take time to build –

a. Followers
b. Email list
c. Spreadsheet of bloggers

I don’t know if my first novel is going to sell one copy or a hundred or a thousand in its first year. From the numbers I’ve seen, if it hits 300, I should be happy. My efforts probably aren’t going to take it past that quantity, but I have to try.

The Two Conflicting Principles of Book Marketing for Self Published Authors

The most important thing you can do to market your book is come up with a comprehensive plan, and doing so requires consideration of two principles. Before we get to those, however, it’s important to understand two concepts:

Concept 1: The key to social media is that it’s social, not selling.

If your idea of using social media for book marketing is to tweet, “Buy My Book #mybookisawesome,” you’re not going to get many sales. In fact, you’re probably going to gain a bad reputation and, perhaps, see a backlash.

Social media is about building relationships with your potential customer base.

If your sole motivation for blogging is to sell your book, nobody is going to read your blog. If your purpose of being on a forum is to sell your book, no one is going to pay attention to your posts. If your main focus of Facebook updates is telling people about your book, you’re not going to get many likes or reach many people.

If, however, you interact with people, all these places can be great sources of both help and potential customers. Find a purpose for your blog. Contribute meaningful content to the forum. Use Facebook to connect with people.

The problem is that using social media correctly takes time. Not only do you have to learn the technical ins and outs, you have to understand the etiquette for each medium.

Concept 2: Cost means more than just literal dollars spent.

When I spend an hour creating a blog post, that’s an hour I didn’t spend writing or editing or even learning more about my craft. This concept is called opportunity cost, and, when I mention dollar figures in this post, that’s what I’m referring to in lieu of actually opening up a wallet.

So, with those ideas out of the way, let’s consider the creation of your marketing plan. The good news is that, in terms of deciding what resources to spend on marketing, there are only two principles you need to consider. The bad news is that those fundamentals are in direct conflict with each other.

Principle 1: The more products you have available as an author, the more cost effective your marketing efforts become.

Let’s consider the opportunity cost of marketing. I spend an hour creating a blog post or going on a forum or researching effective use of Facebook. At least a portion of that hour, I could have been writing or editing or learning more about storytelling or technique. That time I would have spent doing authorly things would have directly resulted in some portion of a product being created.

Envision me surrounded by charts and graphs. Assume I have projections and hard data. Picture a differential equation that I use a numerical method to solve. (Note that I don’t say I actually did any of this stuff, just that I want you to think of me doing it instead of just choosing random numbers.)

If I have a single book out, it costs $10 to generate one sale. Each sale generates $4 of revenue. Therefore, I’m losing $6 per sale.

I add a second book, and the fundamental math changes. I still only sell one copy of the book I’m advertising, but, now, half my customers go and buy my first novel as well. I’m still spending $10, but, instead of generating only $4 of revenue, I’m getting $6. I’m only losing $4 per sale! Whoohoo!

When I add my third book, some of my customers now buy one previous work and some both. My revenue on the same outlay increases to $7.50.

As you can see, eventually I’ll actually start making a profit. Based on anecdotal evidence, this tipping point comes around the 5th or 6th book.

The implication is clear: It makes no sense to market your book when you only have one out. You’re losing money on each hour you spend. Once you have five or six books, start marketing.

Principle 2: Each additional hour you spend on social media marketing increases your efficiency for future efforts.

There are two factors at work behind this principle.

1. There’s an initial outlay of learning the medium, setting up accounts, becoming proficient with the software, understanding the etiquette, etc. Once that learning is out of the way, creating content takes less time.
2. Your influence grows with time. One follower becomes a hundred becomes a thousand. Given a set conversion rate of followers to sales, sending notices to more people generates more sales for the same amount of effort.

In this manner, the longer you’ve been a user of a particular social medium, the more efficient you are at reaching customers. My first experiences tweeting will cost me $10 to make a sale. By the time I’ve been doing it a year, maybe I’m down to only $7 worth of effort for the same result.

The implication of this principle is also quite clear: You need to market as early as possible. Basically, as soon as you think you might become an author, you should start building a platform.

See the problem?

An author needs to:

1. Wait to market until he has 5 to 6 books out.
2. Begin marketing as soon as possible.

What’s the solution?

As with everything in life, the answer is balance. Either extreme is likely to result in failure.

If you do no marketing at all from the start, your book is not going to sell at all. You run the risk of becoming discouraged and giving up. Also, self publishing involves real cost. Editing and cover art adds up quickly. If you’re not selling anything, where does that money come from?

On the other hand, if you spend all your time blogging and on forums and connecting on Facebook, how are you going to ever produce even that first novel, much less five or six?

I think the balance point is different for each person. The important point is to consider each principle carefully and make wise decisions.

How to Become a Successful Author in Today’s Marketplace

When I first hit upon the idea of writing a novel, I imagined a publisher throwing piles of money at me while weeping for joy over the awesomeness of my book.

If that ever was the way of the world, it’s not anymore. Creating your novel is but the first in a long sequence of steps, and I’ve devoted considerable effort in gaining understanding of those steps.

Before I get to that, though, let’s define “successful.”

1. Megawealth – At some point, a book reaches a level where people buy and read it simple because everyone else is buying and reading it. Did I read Harry Potter, Twilight, or Hunger Games because I said, “Hey, this looks like a book I will enjoy?” No. I bowed to social pressure. How do you get your book to that level? I have no idea. If you happen to know, please clue me in. Truthfully, it’s unlikely that any of us are going to reach those kinds of levels.
2. Quitting my Day Job – As an engineer, I make a pretty good living. Salary-wise, I have no complaints. That success also makes it harder for me to replace my income. Through hard work and by gaining a better understanding of efficient marketing/promoting, I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility for me eventually to gain this level.
3. Extra Income – While replacing my salary would be difficult, a couple of extra thousand bucks a month would certainly come in handy, and I think it’s probable, with hard work, for me to attain that level of success.

While I’d love to get to (1) and I’m shooting for (2), I think that (3) is the more realistic, relatively-short-term objective.

So, how do I get there?

Step 1: Write a Good Book

One path to selling a lot of books is to devote a lot of money to marketing. If you have enough books out and enough resources, I think this would, eventually, pay off for you. Frankly, though, it’s risky, and I don’t have the necessary (huge!) resources to devote to it.

Since I have a day job, I also don’t have time both to produce new work and spent hours and hours marketing.

Without money or time to promote my work, the only path to success I see is to turn my readers into salespeople. If each person who reads it tells others, that’s the “force multiplier” I need to turn my meager marketing efforts into something that launches a successful career.

The first step in gaining my readers’ help is to write a book worthy of them recommending.

Step 2: Implore

The simple fact is that someone is much more likely to do something for you if you ask them to do it. Expecting a stranger to buy your book, read it, and spontaneously proclaim its virtues to all their friends on their own initiative is unrealistic.

If, however, you write a letter to your readers saying, “Hey, I’m an indie author. The only way I have to get word out about my book is through people like you. If you can do any of these things for me, it would help so much, and I’d really appreciate it.”

Then, list things like:

• Tell your friends – in person, on Facebook, and on Twitter
• Write a review on Amazon, your blog, B&N, Goodreads, and any other place you can think of to put it
• Add it to any “Best Book You’ve Never Heard of” list that you can find
• Like my Facebook page

A more comprehensive list is the subject of a future post, but you get the idea.

Step 3: Promote, but Not too Much

Each hour you spend marketing and promoting is an opportunity to reach new customers who in turn have the potential to tell their friends about you. At the same time, each hour you spend marketing and promoting is an hour you’re not spending writing.

Step 4: Write Another Book

As you create and market new products, you:

• Give your “fans” another chance to purchase from you
• Have the opportunity to reach new customers
• Create marketing efficiencies

If you spend an hour promoting your first book, you only have the potential of selling that one product. For the second book, you now have the possibility of your marketing campaign reaching back and selling both your books. Efficiency, to a point, increases with more books.

One book simply is unlikely to ever net you much of a profit, much less make you extra income. Keep writing.

Cover for Abuse of Power

As you might have noticed from the distinct lack of images used for this blog, I’m not a graphics guy. I think that, overall, this trait makes getting cover work done a much simpler process. I tell someone who, presumably, knows what they’re doing what I want, sit back until they’re done, and am impressed with the end result.

Since I’m giving Abuse of Power away and won’t make a dime off it, I didn’t have a huge budget for it. My plan was no more than $100 for editing and cover combined. I ended up spending just over $97 on the edit and $40 on the cover. Oh well. Budgets are made to be blown, right?

For my first foray into procuring cover art, I took the advice from How to Make a Killing on Kindle and tried elance.com. I can’t remember the minimum bid for services, but it was high. Between that site and another one, one required $200 and the other $300. I wasn’t going to spend two to three times my entire budget on the cover, thank you very much!

I discovered that the cheapest option was to Google premade cover art. You can buy the right to use an image and have a graphic artist put your title and name on it for $20 to $50. The problem is, you have to wade through a lot of sites to find what you want.

My solution? This link for the Deviant Art Job Offers Forum. You simply post what you want and how much you want to pay. Within literally minutes, I made contact with someone who had something that would work. Fantastic.

I chose to go with Neil Hutchison am quite happy with the results. You can see his other work here. It’s nothing like what I would have come up with on my own, and that’s a very good thing! If you need cover art, consider using him.

The only hitch in the process was that Neil wanted to know what dimensions I needed. I had no idea, so I posed the question over at Mythic Scribes. Turns out the answer is 1600 by 2400 pixels at 150 dpi. Presumably, this answer will work for you as well until such a time as the screens on e-devices get better.

Overall, the process was much easier than I had any right to expect. Neil emailed me a proof, I Paypalled him $40, and he emailed me the full version.

Let me know what you think of the cover.

Choosing Editing Services

I am by no means an expert at hiring an editor or on editor services, but one of the main purposes of this blog is to share my experience with self publishing in the hopes that it helps someone else out there. Please take the “advice” in this post in that spirit.

Some comments about the editing process in general:

1. Editing is expensive. Think about all that goes into the process. First, the editor has to wade through your massive tome. Then, he has to diagnose the problems. Finally, he has to compose cogent comments about the work. The expense is justified. Seeing as how editing is so costly, though, make sure you’re ready for it. The better your writing is at the start, the more bang for your buck you’ll get out of your editor. I think spending money to have someone tell you where commas should go is ludicrous. There are much more important functions for your editor to perform; learn basic grammar and writing rules!
2. The best piece of advice I’ve heard about choosing an editor is that the editor needs to get what you’re trying to accomplish. If the person you choose doesn’t like your writing, you are both in for a rough road.
3. Choose an editor you respect. I question my beta readers all the time. In fact, I call one of them an idiot on a regular basis (usually before giving in and accepting that he’s right). I’m not saying that you should take every word from an editor as a directive from God, but you should automatically elevate any of his comments far above the level of your typical beta reader.
4. Your editor should have one goal — to help you make your piece work better. His objective is not to ruin your art or to force you to follow a “rule” just for the sake of conformity. You have to trust that the motive of any comment is to make your writing more engaging (or whatever measure of goodness you and your editor are using). If you don’t feel that level of trust, you need either to adjust your attitude or find a new editor.

Finding an Editor:

I didn’t go through much of a rigorous process. I submitted a sample to Flourish Editing, liked what I got back, sent them my novelette as a test, and was quite happy with the result.

To be honest, Flourish Editing’s rates are at (maybe over) what I want to pay, and, perhaps, I could find an editor just as good out there for less. Frankly though, how much time would it take to go through that process? Editing is expensive, and a good editor is worth it.

If you’re looking for a cheap option, there are a lot of freelancers out there. Be prepared to do a lot of wading in the weeds to find the one that’s right for you.

Editing Services:

Manuscript Review

This option is the least expensive by far. Your editor will provide you with overview comments and touch on Style, Setting, Characterization, Plot and Tension, and Structure on a 20,000 foot level. My hope was that this level would be enough for me. Unfortunately, I don’t think that this analysis provides the detail necessary to take my novel to the next level. This option is probably best for someone who has an advanced first draft or second draft and is looking for major issues that need to be fixed.

Structural Review

This option is going to cost roughly twice as much as the Manuscript Review, but you’re getting a lot more for the money. You’ll get all the information you would from the first option but more detailed. More importantly, you’ll get a chapter by chapter breakdown with specific advice for improvement. I think an author needs to go with at least this level of report prior to self publishing.

Line Editing

This option is the gold standard, and, if I had the money, I’d choose it for each of my books. At roughly twice the cost of the Structural Review, the editor will go through your manuscript line by line and offer specific suggestions on how to improve. If wishes were fishes… Oh well.

Editor’s Structural Analysis of Abuse of Power

I think that authors typically have two blind spots regarding their work — either they think it’s the best thing ever written or they think it’s the worst. The danger in the first attitude is that they send it out before its ready and forever damage their reputation. The hazard of the second is that they keep striving for unobtainable perfection and never send it out at all.

I think I’m in a pretty good place. I’ve gotten pretty good feedback, and I’m ready to let my finished work stand. Why, then, did I decide to have my novelette — which was already published — looked at by an editor?

1. I won one of my fantasy football leagues. You’re probably saying, “Huh?” Seriously, I won a couple of hundred bucks and didn’t have any other immediate needs.
2. I want Abuse of Power to be an advertisement for my work, and, while I’m fairly happy with it, I want it to have a little more impact than it does now.
3. I think my writing is good. I want it to be great, and the single best way I can think of to improve is to get more feedback.

Tim, at Flourish Editing, did a structural review for me (check back tomorrow for a discussion of what the various types of reviews are and what you should choose), and here’s what I learned:

Overall, the piece is pretty good. Tim thinks it’s fast paced with plenty of emotion and, if Power of the Mages had been available, he said he would have been interested in buying it based on Abuse.

Characterization is a weak link in the story. Basically, I didn’t give much of an arc or dimension to any of the four main characters except Auggie, and his was probably weaker than it should have been. I seriously don’t think that this is a problem overall with my writing as much as it is me trying to keep the story tight given the format. I don’t think I’m going to change Benj’s arc at all in my edit, and I’ll only tweak Alaina’s a little.

Auggie’s arc needs to be stronger. Tim saw his transformation from adventurer to responsible adult as a minor sidenote rather than a major event. I need to strengthen this. Tim cautions me on this thought, however, in that I can’t make Auggie seem like a spoiled brat. I think I have fix for it; we’ll see.

I also made a huge mistake in portraying Emar as evil for the sake of being evil. I need to give him some depth. This is a typical problem with me; I tend to use the antagonist as a foil instead of developing them as characters. I need to do better!

Tim nailed one of my biggest weaknesses — distinct character voice. Truthfully, most of my characters sound like me talking. I’m going to do my best to learn to do better, but it’s going to be a long road for me. I’m hoping my readers don’t get too turned off as I work to improve.

He made some minor comments on plot which are easily fixable. I think it’s easy for any author to make tiny mistakes and sometimes it just takes an outsider view to spot them. These don’t worry me overmuch, but it’s helpful to have them pointed out.

Tim suggests that I can add some additional physical tension in places. I agree. It’s never a bad idea to increase tension, and I tend to focus much more on the dramatic over the physical.

Overall, I think the comments are well worth the slightly less than $100 that I paid. The full text of his analysis is posted below.

ABUSE OF POWER STRUCTURAL ANALYSIS

1. Overview

Executive Summary
You have a good story here. It’s well plotted, fast-paced, and engaging. There are a few minor issues here and there, but nothing that requires much effort to fix. Character is the weakest sector of the piece, as discussed below, but more in the sense of “it’d be nice if…” rather than “you have to fix…”. I enjoyed reading Abuse of Power, and if Power of the Mages had been available at the end of it, I’d have gone to pick it up.

Writing Style
For the most part, the writing style is very strong. You’re a good, efficient writer with a nice grasp of readability and an effective voice. There are some minor points where things get a little confused, or the viewpoint slips somewhat to permit a small authorial intrusion, but nothing serious. There are no chunks of exposition deadening pace, which is always a great sign. Auggie has a clean, crisp viewpoint which carries the story nicely, and you’ve got plenty of emotional movement in the text. It’s easy to slip into, and thoroughly enjoyable. The only area I can point to with any possible consistent weakness is in characterization, which is covered below. There isn’t much description, but then Auggie doesn’t really ever have time for it, so I consider that a positive sign rather than a criticism.

Setting
Magic-poor feudal fantasy is a popular place for stories to happen in. We don’t get to learn a huge amount about the world during Abuse of Power, but we discover everything we need to for the story to work, which is exactly the right amount. The information that is there makes sense, and hangs together effectively. There are some lovely touches that will help to hook reader curiosity, such as the tender’s moment of divine possession. Alaina’s magic will also serve in that regard, including the hints that she’s using power to calm an unwitting Auggie.

Characterization
The main characters are strong and engaging, which is very important. There isn’t a huge amount of character arc, but what there is feels well-handled. Auggie is forced to deal with his commitment issues and find peace; Alaina has to set aside some of her self-hatred. Benj doesn’t have any movement at all, but that’s fine for a character who’s there as a foil in a short story. As the antagonist, it’s fitting that Emar does not develop.
A slightly bigger issue is character depth. All four main characters are broadly one-dimensional. Auggie does have some occasional hints of privileged nobility running through his general knightly demeanor, but that’s it. You can get away with one-dimensional characters in a short story, but it wouldn’t take much to add in some sprinkles of deeper currents running through all four of the primaries, and you’d get deeper reader immersion (and pleasure) because of it. Of the four, Emar is the most cipher-like, and I recommend giving some thought to moving him from ‘Evil Because I’m Evil’ towards something just a little more sympathetic, and thus interesting. For example, ‘Desperately Trying To Prove Something’, ‘Totally Cynical Bounty Hunter’, or ‘More-Than-My-Job’s-Worth Bureaucrat.’
The other thing worth looking at is dialogue. The three protagonists all have very similar manners of speaking. That might be expected between Auggie and Benj, although they’d still most likely have some unique vocal aspects. It’s makes less sense for Alaina. Unless there’s some sort of setting-related consideration towards universal education cutting across class barriers, a baker’s daughter ought not sound like a Duke’s son. The piece would be stronger if you looked back over the dialogue and gave each person more of a flavor.

Plot & Tension
Plot and tension are strong throughout. Very little seems out of place — the only act I didn’t totally understand was Emar’s acceptance of the duel — and events flow reasonably naturally into each other. Tension is handled nicely for the most part. There are a few points where the protagonists get away with things that could have provided the opportunity for a moment or two of reader suspense, such as the snapped twig in the first scene, but the story never feels like it’s faltering. None of the scenes feel out of place, nor do they drag on past their welcome point.
There are a few possible issues of timing, particularly during the first night — the horseback swap, dawn coinciding with when they leave the fort — but nothing that can’t be easily fixed. All in all, it’s a well-told story.

Structure
The structure of this story fits fairly closely into romance patterns. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy rescues girl from crazed witchfinders, boy falls down cliff, boy engages in bloodthirsty duel as part of shotgun wedding, boy gets girl. Humor aside, the arcs in this piece are those of romance — changes in outlook, development of relationship, and so on. This is not a criticism. Some plot structures require more of a character arc on the part of the protagonist than others. Romantic stories tend not to have much arc, which fits with Abuse of Power. At the end of the story, Auggie is more or less the same chap he was at the start. He’s faced his fear of commitment, but that’s been mostly in the background anyway.
In terms of act breaks, the story is structured quite closely to the usual three-act set-up. We have the catcher’s appearance changing everything around 25% and Alaina’s rejection sets up a false failure echo around 50%. The break into Act 3 is slightly weaker, but we have the slow tender and the interrupted nuptials around that spot providing something of a moment of bleakness. The climactic confrontations, first with Emar and then with Alaina, fall in place nicely. There doesn’t appear to be any overt theme, but that’s not uncommon for a shorter piece.
The resolution is strong, and sets up your novel well. Ending with the tussle over Ashley’s name gives a great lead in to your sell-line.

2. Scene by Scene

1. Bandit Camp: Auggie and Benj scout a horse-thief camp in the dark.
This is well-paced, involving, and has some nice tension. One or two areas for possible improvement though. The way it’s currently written, Auggie’s breaking of the dry branch seems oddly deliberate for such a dangerous act. The moment of possible discovery that follows could definitely be played up for greater peril.
The initial conversation reveals basic character well, establishes Benj as a bit loose, Auggie as better-trained and more rigorous.
There is a little authorial intrusion and minor awkwardness in the writing – Benj’s transition to blending in is a bit too sudden; Auggie’s bitter reminiscence slows the vital initial pace a bit, and would be better on the (currently near-invisible) ride back.
The setting so far could be any low-tech; I initially thought of civil war US.

2. Colonel: The pair report the camp’s presence.
This builds on previous characterizations nicely. The Colonel’s behavior acts as an effective foil for strengthening our existing impressions. I think Auggie would have noticed the Colonel’s name though, whenever he was told it.

3. Tavern: Auggie meets Alaina, and gets her captured by mage catchers.
After the initial introductions, this is where protagonists’ characters get fully established. The three protags and the antag are all strong individuals, but are a little one-dimensional — Auggie is an officer, Benj is irresponsible, Alaina is annoyed, and Emar is nasty — and the three protags have broadly similar character voices. The moment where Auggie bullies Alaina into sitting is a start towards two-dimensionality, but a few more little moments scattered through the scene to add secondary dimensions — and some personal vocal uniqueness — would go a long way. This is particularly true of Emar, who will be more interesting if he doesn’t feel (and sound) like he’s acting simply because he’s evil-minded.
Setting is established firmly as fantastical for the first time, which makes sense in a setting where magic is utterly suppressed.
Pacing is fairly strong, writing is effective, and there’s plenty of emotional movement. Auggie’s reaction to Alaina does seems unusually strong given the brevity and awkwardness of their encounter; perhaps up the ‘love at first sight’ aspect a little to increase believability?

4. Rescue: Auggie and Benj snatch Alaina and make it to the fort.
There are some small moments of awkward writing, mostly at the start of the scene in the 3rd and 4th paras. It seems odd that the ambushed guard’s yelp doesn’t draw attention — or is it the wind muffling him? When Auggie slows to delay pursuit, there’s no sense that the fort is so near until Benj is riding into it, which is slightly jarring. Also, if the pursuit has closed from 100yds over ten miles to the point where a last 20-second sprint won’t be enough, transferring Alaina between horses seems nigh-on impossible. If they’re making a movie-stunt switch at full gallop, it ought to be talked through a lot more to establish how insanely difficult it is, and made as frightening as possible for the reader. Otherwise, you’ll risk losing immersion through implausibility.
Interesting character perspectives in here — role reversals between A and B, and Alaina’s reluctance to be rescued — provide nice interest. Plenty of emotional movement. There are several opportunities to increase tension during the scene however, and the storm doesn’t seem to attract Auggie’s notice as much as serious nasty weather ought to.

5. The Fort: Auggie and Alaina discuss the rescue.
Decent character interplay here, with some good hints to motivations. As in the tavern scene, some moments to add depth would strengthen things, and the characters could use greater voice differentiation. The Duke’s heir and a peasant girl generally wouldn’t be expected to use similar vernaculars.

6. Chase: The trio ditch immediate pursuit.
As the scene opens, we go from indeterminate night — but seemingly just a couple of hours since we were in the tavern — to dawn. The timing feels odd, given Benj just interrupted to say the Colonel was about to open the gates. The escape plan is very believable, which is nice.
I note that there are no missile weapons in evidence anywhere. Is that a setting thing, or does Emar feel restricted?

7. The Fall: Alaina reveals her powers.
A well-structured and decently paced scene. Establishes more of setting and character. Alaina’s history works effectively. There are a few spots that could use a little tightening, either for tone or minor clarity, after Auggie’s rescue — unwanted paragraph breaks during Alaina’s speech, abrupt emotional variability, etc. Overall though, a strong scene.

8. Ceremony: Auggie rounds up a shotgun wedding.
Nicely paced. The priest’s divine possession is a great touch, and opens a whole file of questions for readers to start obsessing over. The sparse description throughout is in accord with Auggie’s stress levels, but we ought to at least get the name of the village at the start of this scene or the end of the one before. Writing is crisp. Dialogue and character are effective throughout.
Nice use of the setting’s customs here, by the way. The marriage process is given exactly the right level of viewpoint attention that you’d expect given the twin requirements of extreme hurry and legal irreproachability.

9. Duel: Auggie and Emar fight it out.
A few issues here. I’m not sure why Emar agrees to the duel — he seems to hold all the cards, and there’s little sense that the setting makes a challenge like that unavoidable. Also, fifteen minutes is a hell of a long time for a duel to go on. Even allowing that Auggie has the stamina to swing a broadsword for that time, it’s (historically) very unlikely that both participants would be that perfectly balanced. This is particularly true given the very different weapons. It’s also unlikely that both men could avoid making a slip in that time. Finally, once Emar has lost, he leaves just a bit too abruptly. Even if he doesn’t say another word, which seems perfectly believable, I do think that Auggie would pay more attention to his departure. I also suspect Auggie would have enough blood-loss and fatigue at this point that he’d be pretty wiped out for the rest of the story.
It’s good seeing some of the other side of Auggie in this scene — bloodthirsty, reasonably careless of peasants’ fates, a touch arrogant. It makes him more human, and throws Alaina’s empathy into stronger relief. Possibly Benj could have a resigned/sarcastic last word before Auggie kicks the duel off? He doesn’t seem the type to miss a last retort.

10. Wedding: Alaina says yes.
Nice denouement. Her return of the rings is a good way to carry the tension through to the end, and fits perfectly with her established motivations and character. Benj is absent from the last scene, and might be expected to put in at least a minor irreverent appearance, but it’s not a big deal if you don’t want to shoe-horn him in.
The final line makes for a great lead in to your sell-line, and there’s plenty of stuff in there to establish hooks for Power of the Mages. Pacing is good, timing works, nothing seems out of place, and the writing is consistent.

How to Become a Successful Author

This post is the final part of my Analyzing the Behavior of Book Buyers Series.  See Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.

There’s a lot of bad news if you’re trying to replace your day-job income with your passion for writing:

• There are millions of books out there, and people just keep writing more!  Would they just stop already?  It’s hard to stand out from the crowd.
• If someone does happen to find your book page, you have opportunities to lose them with you description, the reviews, your preview section, and the price.

There is, however, one piece of very good news: Book Buyers actively look for books.

I’ll buy somewhere between 20 and 30 novels this year.  There are a lot of Goodreads members who have goals of reading more than 50 a year.  In order to buy that many books, we’re going to have to search them out.  You don’t have to come to us; we’ll be trying to find you.

If you can make it easy enough for a lot of us to find you, you’ll be a success.  How, then, is the best way to do that:

Step 1 – Write a good book.

Step 2 – Repeat Step 1 over and over again.

Fellow Mythic Scribes members Michael Sullivan and Kevin McLaughlin convinced me of this approach, but logic bears them out.  Let’s look at how Book Buyers find books on a macro scale:

• If they find a single book they really like, they consider every book by that author.
• They wait for their favorite authors to publish a new book.
• They get recommendations from Goodreads, people they know, forums, and lists.  They search out these recommendations.
• They search within their favorite genres for new books.

Three out of four of those methods involve the book being good.  If the reader doesn’t like your writing, they’re not going to look at your other books and certainly not going to wait for you to publish another one.  If readers in general don’t like your writing, they’re not going to recommend them to anyone.  With so many books in the marketplace, you simply cannot rely on driving customers to your book through advertising or any other method; you must have word of mouth working for you.

I’m planning on releasing Power of the Mages later this year.  Let’s explore two possible scenarios on how that release goes:

Scenario 1 – Power sells only a few hundred copies in the first year, but I get favorable responses back from the people who did read it.  What do I do?

Write a new book.  If people like Power, it means that I need to give them more time and opportunities to find my writing.

Scenario 2 – Power sells only a few hundred copies in the first year, and the response is generally bad.  What do I do?

Concentrate on getting better at writing.  I obviously wasn’t as ready as I thought I was to publish a book.

As I do for mine, you probably think your writing is good enough to publish.  Let’s face facts:

1. Most of the self-published stuff out there isn’t all that great.  The odds aren’t in forever in your favor.
2. You are not the best person to judge the quality of your work.

Take a long, honest look at the feedback you get.  I know it’s painful, but you’re never going to become a success if you bury your head in the sand.  If you want to get better, you have to try to get better.

I’ve heard many times that the only way to get better at writing is to write.  I think that advice is horse manure.

In the absence of feedback on what you’re doing wrong, it’s unlikely that your writing is going to do much improvement at all.  If you need to get better, get opinions from people who know writing.  Take their suggestions seriously.